You’ve been doing everything that the experts and the books have told you to – leaning in like crazy – and still not advancing your career.

You’re following all the rules and trying your best to ‘play the game’.

But you’re still not that leader that you want to be.

And so you’ve started to lose confidence in yourself…

Thinking that it must be you…

After all, you’re doing what they said to do…

And that lack of confidence seems to be affecting everything.

At work, decisions you used to make with ease, you now second-guess.

After sending an email, you sit in your office questioning whether you used the right words and reflected the right tone.

You replay even simple conversations in your mind over and over to make sure you didn’t say anything wrong or stupid or offensive.

You sensor yourself, dim your light, quiet your voice…

At home, you take your husband’s playful joke or off-hand comment as a personal attack.

Or you’ve become more controlling to make up for the insecurity you feel at work.

This is not the person you want to be.

And you know that your lack of confidence is getting in the way of you being the leader that you want to be.

It’s become a vicious cycle.

Does this sound like you?

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Everyone feels unconfident at times. It’s not the feelings that are the issue, but whether and how you respond to them that matters.

Then reflect on the source of the feelings.

Is it because you’ve decided (or been told) that you should be at a certain point and know a certain thing by now?

Is it because you’re learning something new and still getting your bearings?

Or is it because you’re comparing yourself to someone else.

Once you’ve figured out why you’re feeling the way you do,

Reflect on why you were hired or given the position in the first place.

Think about all of your strengths, some of which are unique to you.

We’re so quick to forget that we’re awesome and have great skills and experience to share.

And yes, also acknowledge your weaknesses.

Reflect on them, too, and then work each day to improve them.

You becoming the leader you want to be is within your grasp if you don’t let feeling less than confident stand in your way.

Are you ready to make the changes you need to make in order have what you want in your career?