“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” –Oprah Winfrey.

Or, less eloquently, as I like to teach my daughter, “You don’t ask, you don’t get.”

These are facts.

It’s very rare in this life (especially this corporate life) that the best opportunities are simply volunteered to us.

Honestly, on the few occasions that I’ve seen it happen just that simply, it wasn’t to the benefit of a woman. Ever.

For us, we need to ask for what we want.

And the statistics on the disparity between men and women in asking for what we want in the workplace, and the resultant disparity in salary between the genders, is clear evidence of that fact.

So, if we can agree that a MAJOR step in achieving our goals is asking for what we want, then what’s stopping us?

Are we afraid of what we may look like if we ask for MORE?

Is there a concern that we may look like – clutch the pearls – the ambitious women that we are?

Or that we may look ungrateful, money-hungry, or like a b!tch?

Maybe all of these?

Or are we afraid that we will view ourselves this way if are not satisfied with what we already have?

Or maybe we just don’t know how to ask – it feels icky or uncomfortable?

Or maybe asking opens us up to being rejected?

Or, maybe we don’t ask because of a fear that we will actually get it. (Mindbend! I know, right?)

I get it. It can be scary. It can be hard. It can be uncomfortable.

Still, I encourage you to seriously consider all that you are holding yourself back from while you dwell in a place of worry about possible discomfort or fear of others’ possible perceptions.

SERIOUSLY THINK about all that you are missing out on because no one even knows that you want ‘that thing’.

I invite you to join me in my supportive Facebook community, dedicated to ambitious women who want MORE in their career, but who are done sacrificing everything else in their lives to get it: toniapatterson.com/community . I look forward to connecting with you there.